GoofyStrategy.Linux

Although my actual job title is Manufacturing Engineer and I work for a very large company, the location I work at outsources its maintenance and labor, so the amount of employees on the real company payroll is quite small. As a result, a lot of us do parts of two or three different jobs.

Like me for instance.

My job is primarily doing my actual, titled job, but I'm also in charge of keeping up our plant's IT stuff. As a result, I'm back to reading Slashdot on the daily to keep up with the trends and whatnot.
My general critique of the completely out of touch with reality average Slashdot poster aside, one of the most common reoccurring themes on Slashdot regardless of topic is why Linux isn't more popular. Well that and the worn out In Soviet Russia and Step 4: Profit! jokes.

So why isn't Linux more popular? Let me first dispel some of the widely held reasons for thinking it isn't popular then tell you the real reason.

First off, it has nothing to do with Linux being hard to set-up or configure. Out of all my non-work friends, I can honestly say I've got maybe two friends who could reliably set up Windows on a box, so saying Linux is too hard to install is like saying a person shouldn't buy a car because it's too hard to work on. Point is, the vast majority of computer users don't install their own OS just like they don't work on their own cars. Since Linux doesn't come standard on many boxes, and if folks are going to use it they will have to install it is a point to be made, but let's be honest, if we're talking about your average computer user, they're not going to do that anyway. People like my parents aren't going to go lay down $500 to $1,500 on a new computer, take it home, then immediately install a different OS and that's my point- once a normal computer user buys a Windows PC, Linux already lost the battle.

Secondly, the vast majority of computer users don't have any idea how secure or unsecure their computer is so selling a person on Linux being all locked down is lost on them. Hell, I've seen more people than I can count running anti-virus software that hasn't updated itself in years that think their computers are secure. Do you really think a user like that is going to go through the trouble of installing a Linux distro for the sake of security? (And as a sidenote- let's be honest, computer security is overblown anyway. Hackers are much more likely to hack a credit card company's site and harvest the numbers or phish than break into the average user's PC and try to steal data. The worst thing that's likely to happen to the average PC user is getting a bot installed that makes them part of Storm or something).

Thirdly, the "everything is free" argument doesn't hold water with many people because growing up in America, we tend to equate at least some cost with value or quality. I've read some articles and posts about this argument being rendered invalid because most people have a friend who can install Windows for free or have access to a corporate copy or whatever. Again, the vast majority of people I know get the OS they use pre-installed when they buy the computer. The only time somebody like that is going to mess around trying to find a copy of Windows is going to be when their machine screws up, so I think this is a moot point.

Lastly, stop with the stupid names and the stupid mascots and all that stupid stuff for all the different distros. It's confusing for anyone who doesn't live on sites like Slashdot and makes business take you less seriously. I remember telling my folks I had bought a copy of Mandrake back in 2001. They asked if it was a game. I told them it was a Linux distro. They asked why it wasn't just called Linux then. I told them because Linux is free and nobody really owns it, but this company was putting out this package that included it and other stuff and called it Mandrake. By that time their eyes had glazed over.

This is a problem. People go to buy Windows, they buy Windows. Sure, it may be Windows Vista or Windows XP, and there may be other flavors, but it isn't like the goofiness of Red Hat, Mandriva, Ubuntu, etc. etc.

Also, if you're trying to put out the easiest to use, most user friendly version of Linux with which you expect to convert the masses- DO NOT name it something unpronounceable. I swear to God, nothing else perfectly typifies the computer dork stereotype than: "Hey guys, let's make this super easy to use Linux install. K, great? What do we call it?"

"Ubuntu."

Even if I did know how to say it, how likely am I to walk into Best Buy and ask a clerk for a copy of Ubuntu? I feel stupid saying "Can I get a McFlurry" at McDonald's. Do you really think I'm going to go ask for a copy of "Uh, Bun-, no that's not right, uh-boon-tew? I think that's how you say it."

Honestly, people. Don't CS majors still have to take a business class in college? You want a name? Name it "Easy." People go to Best Buy and get a copy of Easy. It's computing made Easy. You see how this works? Leave the capital on there, and for God's sake don't think up some shaky acronym for it, just call it Easy.

So now that I've pointed out why the average joe computer user doesn't care about Linux, how should somebody go about marketing Linux to the masses?

1) Do it and do it NOW.
Seems like the biggest Linux push was back in the early 00's when XP was firing on all cylinders and Win2k wasn't really all that bad. One huge reason why nobody cared was because they weren't all that dissatisfied with Windows. That is not currently the case.

Does anyone really think Apple has suddenly started just making great computers? Apple is as good or bad as it always has been- the reason they're selling more computers now than ever before is Microsoft screwed up a good thing with Vista, folks didn't dig it and it's system requirements, so instead of running down to Best Buy, standing around waiting for some college kid who knows nothing about computers to read them the same information that's printed on the card hanging on the shelf below the computer, getting a new PC filled with malware and letting the Geek Squad into their house and all their personal files, they went to Apple.com and ordered a MacBook.

It's like a perfect storm of bad customer experience- force a bad product (Vista) on the public, provide them with either no/ overpriced/ bad customer service (Dell.com, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etc.), then wonder why they don't come back in 2.4 years to drop another grand on this experience.

There's no better time than now (well, maybe six months ago would've been better, but it's still a good time) to be trying to push Linux to the masses. Everybody hates Vista. If Microsoft wasn't forcing Vista down PC manufacturer's throats, then those same manufacturers turning around and forcing it down the consumer's throats, Vista would have even less adoption than it currently has. Now is the time for somebody to get it together and push a Linux distro for people like my parents.

2) Find somebody- anybody- willing to sell it pre-installed
Find a company who used to be tops and is desperate to get back- somebody like Gateway for instance or Acer. Some PC vendor who was big in the 90's but has been off the radar for a long time now. Espouse to them the idea of selling Linux on a desktop box aimed at the average joe, then remind them that while they won't have Microsoft subsidizing the sale of a new computer and the hardware margins are slim, they don't have to pay anything for this OS at all and they'll have a lot of happy customers who don't have to drop a bunch of cash to actually use their new computer as soon as they get it home.

This idea of converting the masses by making them waste a Saturday performing a task well over their head technically without a safety net (yes I know the internet has all kinds of howto docs, but IF IT'S THEIR ONLY COMPUTER THAT DOES THEM NO GOOD WHATSOEVER) is a huge reason why Linux isn't working. Sell it pre-configured on a box. Which brings me to...

3) Sell it on the right box
One of the huge advantages of Linux is that it's configurable for all different kinds of environments. If a PC vendor stuck it in a small box- like Mac Mini sized or even better, set it up as a laptop with WiFi, it'd be perfect as a second computer. The vendor doesn't have to worry about people running all kinds of intense software on it, just sell it as an internet appliance. Configure it to be extremely stable, able to access the net through a browser, do POP3 email, and include Open Office for basic word processor functionality and spreadsheets and you've just satisfied 90% of the home PC market right out of the box. Stick a few USBs on it for expandable HDD space to hold music or whatever and you're done. Sell it for a couple hundred bucks. Resist the urge to sell real estate to the pre-installed spam programs from AOL, Verizon, etc. and you'll even have some of the hardcores preaching your name.

Now, I'm sure if you're one of the Linux indoctrinated geek elite, you've got all kinds of objections to this. Here's what I'm going to say to you guys-

We've been doing it your way for 10 years. It's time for a change because your way of free love and the GPL isn't working.
Somebody can still make Linux into a viable Windows alternative. It just isn't going to be any of the current people.

And don't correct me on Ubuntu's spelling or pronunciation. You're only making my point for me.